The Death of Donna Noble
by The Raggedy Doctor
Summary: The POV of Donna at the end of Journeys End. Oneshot. Possible spoilers.


The console room was decidedly empty after everyone had left. The Doctor stood opposite her with a peculiar expression as she began setting course for their next destination.

"_I thought, we could try the planet Felspoon! Just cos... what a good name! Felspoon! Apparently, it's got mountains that sway, in the breeze, mountains that move, can you imagine?_"

The possibilities, they raced through her head. Every idea burned; the whole of time and space lay out before her.

"And how do you know that?" asked the Doctor. He was apprehensive. Cautious. But she didn't mind. He had just said goodbye to Rose. The sadness in his eyes was for her.

"_Cos it's in your head! And if it's in your head, it's in mine!_"

She flicked a few switches and turned a dial. She could pilot this thing better than the Doctor, she reckoned. No more being thrown about, not while Donna Noble was in control. She allowed herself a small smile. She moved to the display screen, adjusting dials and switches as she went.

The Doctor followed her like a shadow. "_And how does that feel?_"

"_Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene!_"

The words came so easily out of her mouth. This was meant to be! The DoctorDonna, in the TARDIS!

"_Great big universe, packed into my brain!_"

An idea came to her. Distract the Doctor from Rose. Maybe then those big brown eyes would smile once more.

"_D'you know, you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hotbinding the fragment-links and superceding the binary, binary binary, binary–_"

Oh god. She couuldn't stop. The word kept repeating like a record that had stuck. Over and over, her mind and mouth aching, unable to stop –

"–_binary, binary_!"

It stopped, she gasped for breath as her mouth became her own again.

"_I'm fine!_" she insisted as the Doctor looked at her, eyes deep with concern.

But she wasn't. The lie couldn't deceive anyone. Her Doctor knew. And the sadness in his eyes wasn't just for Rose.

She continued around the console, changing course.

"_Naaah, never mind Felspoon, d'you know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin! I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin, shall we do that? Go and see Charlie Chaplin?_"

She reached for the phone. She already felt her thoughts exploding, her control of her mouth slipping away.

"_Shall we? Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester? Charlie Brown, no, he's not real, he's fiction, friction, fixing,mixing, Rickston, Brixton –_"

She was gasping for breath again, her head aching. Nothing in the Universe hurt more than the knowledge of what was coming.

She heard him approach as she held onto the console.

"_Oh my god._"

His thoughts were hers. She had never doubted him before, but now, more than ever, she wanted him to be wrong. She needed her Doctor to take away the pain and then onwards! That was all.

"_D'you know what's happening?_" asked the Doctor.

Bitterly, she spat out her reply. "_...Yeah._"

So solemn, he was. As if approaching someone on their deathbed – no, don't think that Donna. Don't worry yourself. The Doctor would make things better. It was what he did. For his namesake. "_There's never been a Human-Time Lord metacrisis before now. And you know why._"

Anger. "_Because there can't be._" Why not? This was unfair. She was the prophesised DoctorDonna. She and the Doctor would travel together, forever. The way it was meant to be. She moved away from him, changing course once more. She kept her hands busy, even though they were shaking. The tears were coming.

"_I want to stay._" she insisted.

It wasn't going to happen.

"_Look at me, Donna. Look at me._" He was forceful.

She turned to look into those brown orbs, the eyes of a much older man. He had lost so much. She knew. She understood. He'd watched his planet and people burn. He'd made it happen. She was the one person in the world who could truly understand him.

The tears flowed freely. She wasn't going to get what she wanted.

"_I was gonna be with you. Forever._"

"_I know._"

How long had he known? Why hadn't he said? He could have done something. He could have made her better. She wanted to shout and scream and kick and beg. But she couldn't.

"_Rest of my life. Travelling. In the Tardis. The DoctorDonna._" she confessed. It was a better life. The monotony of Earth was too much to bear. Every day with a disapproving mother and only her Granddad to share her whimsy and passion for travelling the stars with the one man in her life who made her feel like she was special. The one man who had come in his little blue box and whisked her away from dull normality and shown her the universe. He couldn't take it away, could he? Understanding was coming so quick now.

"_Oh, but I can't go back. Don't make me go back. Doctor. Please._"

She was **begging **him. But it was too late to change his mind. The Doctor wasn't going to make her better. She whimpered.

"_Donna. Oh, Donna Noble._" he smiled as he said her name, but it was a sad smile. His eyes shone with the ghosts of tears as he addressed her. "_I'm so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best._"

'Please,' thought Donna. 'Please don't do it. Please don't take everything away from me.' She knew he could hear her thoughts. She knew that as he spoke, he too was dying inside. What he was doing to her was a fate worse than death. The tears were stung her eyes as she tried to protest.

"_Goodbye._" he said, his hands reaching for her.

"_No, no no, no, no!_"

The protests died as his warm hands reached for her forehead. She tried to scream but found no breath. Her entire body cried out in protest as she watched him steal everything from her. Her memories of her travels were cast into oblivion. She had changed so much. She was a better person now. And the Doctor had killed that person.

And as she grasped onto consciousness for the final few seconds, she realised that the sadness in his eyes had never been for Rose.


End file.
